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April 3rd, 2008

05:49 pm - well thats that then... I handed in my notice today. May 1st will be my last day of work...this is a little bit scary  since i haven't done the sensible thing and actually got a new job :0/ Ah well it was definitely the right decision,i've wanted to leave for about a year now and let other things get in the way...mostly laziness. I'm not quite sure what i want to do next though...spent some time looking at online agencies and nothing looked really exciting or appealing even. I'm now looking at companies i want to work for instead,this way even if the job isn't ideal i'll be working somewhere i like... ideally i want to work for OU as this way i'll get free study  which would be amazing :0) also looking at Hamleys,london zoo,madame tussauds,aquariums...basically FUN places to work... Its all a little bit frightening though...don't think i've ever quit a job without a new one lined up..hmm. Current Mood: contemplative

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January 25th, 2008

11:08 pm - Well this hasn't happened in a while..... It feels like ages since i've spent time alone. This isn't a bad thing at all and has given me a chance to do things i've been neglecting like painting and reading. I've just started a painting from a photo my cousin posted on facebook...its of  the waitomo caves in New Zealand and has  beautiful lighting,big beams of sunlight breaking through the rocks.:0) its been far too long since i painted. looks to be a quiet weekend full of family stuff and catching up with friends and being at home...i sort of wish i was out clubbing and seeing friends i haven't seen in ages and miss lots :0( at the same time there are so many things i want to catch up on here and anyway having a completely sober weekend is an interesting idea. ION cant wait to see cirque du soleil on tuesday..SQueeeeeee! i've wanted to see a show live since i saw the Elena Lev hoop girl video on youtube,Yay! Current Mood: contemplative Tags: missing people, painting, qni

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July 8th, 2007

05:48 pm - Wedding Yesterday Manuel and Helen (who most of the ex Reading lot know)got married ...Yay! it was pretty terrifying for me for a couple of reasons..its really strange seeing people you've known since you were sixteen getting wed,maybe thats just because i'm about as ready now as i was then to get married (not at all).it was lovely to watch the two of them so happy though..especially after a number of pre wedding disasters,the worst one being the bride breaking her leg two weeks before the special day.ouch!and she still managed to walk up the aisle!and smiled for the entire day despite being in copious amounts of pain,! the second reason it was scarey is M and H asked me to do a reading at their ceremony..i agreed because it is an honour and just very nice that they even wanted me too (and i may have been slightly drunk when i said yes)Two days before the wedding i remembered that i'm  Terrified of public speaking..panicked lots and informed the groom that there was NO way  i could read at his wedding.oops,not my proudest moment. Manuel was very nice about it and i didnt feel like i had to,so i wrestled with my conscience for a bit and considered the options.. 1;i could not go to the wedding 2;i could Run Away 3;i could maybe just stop being silly and read at the wedding. Option 2 was obviously the most appealing but in the end i thought i should probably go with 3 and face my public speaking Fear.Sooo...i did it! i stood up and spoke in front of loads of people (that i mostly didnt know) .felt a huge jolt of fear when i was announced to close the ceremony with my reading,wibbled internally and then did it anyway...feeling liberated now,facing up to fears is definately a Good Thing.:0) Current Mood: accomplished Tags: overcoming fear, public speaking, wedding

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June 22nd, 2007

08:53 pm - to J und via </a></b></a>kotenok 1.)Q. Where are you right now? 1.)A.home 2.)Q. What was your dream growing up? 2.)A.to be a nurse,then a vet, then an actress, then a pirate...i could go on...guess i i've never been sure 3.)Q. What talent do you wish you had? 3.)A.i wish i could sing 4.)Q. If I bought you a drink, what would it be? 4.)A.a smoothie or some juice ooohh maybe a white russian 5.)Q. Favourite food? 5.)A.aarghh, i like lots of food,err cheese? 6.)Q. What was the last book you read? 6.)A.Wicked 7.)Q. What zodiac sign are you? 7.)A.taurus. Y? 8.)Q. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? 8.)A.two tattos and 8 piercings 9.)Q. Worst Habit? 9.)A.forgetting who i now am 10.)Q. If you saw me walking down the street, would you offer me a ride? 10.)A.yes i'm friendlylike that;0) 11.)Q. What is your favourite sport? 11.)A. 12.)Q. Negative or Optimistic attitude? 12.)A.OPTIMISTIC 13.)Q. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me? 13.)A.oohh, erm,no short answer to that.very naughty stuff 14.)Q. What was the worst thing to ever happen to you? 14.)A.positive things have come out of my worst personal disasters 15.)Q. Tell me one weird fact about you: 15.)A.i still have a baby tooth 16.)Q. Do you have any pets? 16.)A.do house spiders count? 17.)Q. What if i showed up at your house unexpectedly? 17.)A.i dare you. 18.)Q. What was your first impression of me? 18.)A.you have a very kind face 19.)Q. Have you ever been outside the country and where? 19.)A.amsterdam and most recently egypt 20.)Q. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? 20.)A.dont know, wish i didnt hurt people. dont know if i'd change that about myself though 21.)Q. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience? 21.)A.crime partner ;) 22.)Q. If you could take me anywhere where would it be? 22.)A.somewhere neither of us has been 23.)Q. Have you ever been arrested? 23.)A.yes 24.)Q. Bottle or Draft, and what type of beer? 24.)A.dont like beer 25.)Q. If you won £10,000 today, what would you do with it? 25.)A.spend it on drugs and latex.and nice stuff for my  mum, 26.)Q. Would you date me? 26.)A.maybe 27.)Q. What’s your favourite bar to hang at? 27.)A.pass.used to be iguanas in reading 28.)Q. Do you believe in karma? 28.)A.Yes 29.)Q. What's your favourite thing to do in your spare time? 29.)A.art, sex not necessarily in that order 30.)Q. Do you swear a lot? 30.)A.no 31.)Q. What is your biggest pet peeve? 31.)A.ignorance 32.)Q. In one word, how would you describe yourself? 32.)A.awake 33.)Q. What is your occupation? 33.)A.artist, muse, erm ((banker) 34.)Q. Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same? 34.)A.yer 35.)Q. Do you want the answer to remained screened? 35.)A.dont mind link post comment Current Mood: melancholy

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June 5th, 2007

09:50 pm   well i seem to have almost recovered from the weekend..though not enough to make it to spitz despite not having to work tomorrow,(me lazy) ah well,..the 13 hours i slept yesterday seem to have helped dissolve the effects of weekend merriment,i no longer get dizzy every time i stand up Yay,(thank goodness i have a wheely chair at work) thank you Fliss for an amazing party,and of course the monkey house for hosting.there was LOTS of cuddling and i got stroked almost to death. i've decided this is how i would like to die. and tomorrow i get to do Art all day with libellum,yay.life is happy and good xxxxx Current Mood: bouncy

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May 11th, 2007

06:27 pm - ahhhh spider!!! eek.....only just got back from work having spent a terrifying hour trying to rescue my manager who was trapped in the cash room..no we weren't being held at gunpoint by people raiding the bank...we were held at spiderpoint. I thought i had mostly overcome my arachnophobia, at least to the point of not being scared of medium house spiders and even occasionally naming them and treating them as pets.this new found bravery does NOT extend to spider larger than my hand with big furry,stripey legs*cringe* so...kirsti sat shivering in the corner of the room with the Spider blocking the narrow route to the door whilst i ran off to find help from someone less pathetic than us..now what are the chances of the Everyone else i work with being horribly arachnophobic??.anyhow chaos and panic followed and i was held prisoner for a good hour after i should have gone home until the Spider politely moved.guess we could have escaped sooner when someone offered to twat it but that felt wrong and i couldn't let them. irrational fears suck. Current Mood: scared

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May 10th, 2007

07:30 pm yay! what a fantastic weekend! Angel was awesome as ever,full of lots of beautiful people, some of them in Very skimpy outfits.Although i think Helen wins the skimpiest outfit award ;-))  thank you to the monkey house and especially stu and fliss for being amazing hosts!xxx also thank you to everyone for sprawls and MANY hugs of greatness.x the only slightly low point in the weekend was some wibbling on saturday/sunday.Anyhow thats mostly sorted and there will be a Conversation tonight that will hopefully sort out some of those problems.(note to self: *relax*).. Monday was a fantastic day full of Art..and Messy..and Goodness. Some of that goodness is that libellum and i will be exhibiting our collaberative work at the end of August in the Foundry. this is very exciting and to be honest a bit surprising.i NEVER thought i'd exhibit.i've been creating Art for about 5 years now and its always been a very personal thing for me.it puts me in a nice, calm headspace and generally makes me very happy ... it hadn't really occurred to me to share that with others, its just something i do...well its quite a big thing that i do,that is its an important part of my life and as such its very exciting to be able to share a previously hidden aspect of myself with the outside world.i'm pretty scared about it actually but excited as well. so...yes...come to our exhibition! Current Mood: bouncy

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April 4th, 2007

10:18 pm - weird al weird al Current Mood: happy

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March 20th, 2007

06:49 pm - Art well tonight should be interesting..... lizzy is coming round with some mudrock so we can attempt to make body casts of each other for her art project.now i've done a little bit of sculpting before but so far nothing on this scale.from what i understand of the process we have to strip naked and then cover each other in plaster(*) .Then we have to sit very still for an undisclosed amount of time whilst we dry. wish me luck ..i'm not good at sitting still..   Current Location: at home Current Mood: creative

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March 13th, 2007

07:24 pm - post weekend... kinda feeling the tuesday slump but not as bad as i had expected.planet angel and afterparty were spectacular....lots of lovely, friendly people and much hugging,hmmm hugs are good.also had a chance to get to know some beautiful people a lot better..more of that soon hopefully...! Seeing people yesterday for card playing was lots of fun...i suspect a large part of the post weekend downer is not seeing london friends during the week and not doing Stuff generally..must fill my time with more Stuff.hmm ION..just met a fantastic new person ,James, who Lizzy brought round for me to meet,, he wants a painting on his bedroom  wall and is giving us the artistic freedom to paint what we like...so..i'm thinking some kind of dark fairytale type theme..maybe alice in wonderland,..that would be cool....... Current Mood: bouncy

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February 2nd, 2007

07:52 pm i sampled my shisha pipe today having finally sourced some charcoal suitable for inside use,very pleasant smooth smoke.also found some great recipes, the best one  using absinthe/water and aniseed flavoured tobacco...hmmm sounds tasty.  Current Mood: bouncy

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January 30th, 2007

07:36 pm - hol's It's amazing how quickly a week goes when you're on holiday. Luxor was FANTASTIC,the best place i've been.It took a few days to acclimatise to the weather and the culture but after initial wobbles about the constant hassling (you can't walk 2 metres without someone trying to sell you something) and the dodgy food i really settled down and fell in love with the place. amazingly Nothing has a fixed price and you have to barter to buy the simplest things- eg a bottle of water.This was really annoying at first until i managed to haggle from 30pounds to 2 pounds for an alabaster serpent--then i Really started to like it. The Egyptian hospitality was incredible - most shopkeepers insist you stay for some mint tea(very tasty) and to smoke some shisha even when you're not buying.telling people i was with my brother not my boyfriend meant i was inundated with gifts - i've got quite a collection of lucky scarob beatles and necklaces now! definately the most active holiday i've been on,was up at 6:30 most days for various cultural tours-the valley of kings,valley of queens,luxor,karnak and dendera temples were all worth the early alarm calls. All in all an outstanding holiday and i recommend you all go (and take me with you;-)) YAY for Egypt!!! Current Mood: enthralled

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January 18th, 2007

09:47 pm - EGYPT!! i.m going to egypt on monday! finally after a week of uncertainty i have flights,transfers, accomodation etc confirmed. its been 12 years since i visited a hot country and i've never ventured outside europe ..yes i am kinda over excited right now. ooooh i love last minute hols! Current Mood: excited

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November 17th, 2006

07:34 pm i have started painting again as of yesterday,not sure y i ever stopped.i guess it seemed as though there were many other ,more exciting,more social things filling my time...and there still is kinda.but thats no excuse not to spend the rest of my time induging my creative side.since i started about a year ago i felt that painting,sculpting and sketching filled a void in my life..something i wasnt aware i was missing until i started doing it,time spent creating stuff feels like downtime..time i spend resolving things without even thinking too much about them,when i can feel at peace and very content and happy with myself, with my life,  almost like a magical cure for my problems,a happy meditative place. i feel ridiculously happy right now , happier than i've felt in a long while. :-))) Current Mood: artistic

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November 16th, 2006

07:07 pm i was feeling decidedly upbeat this morning when i went to work.however when i got there i was greeted with the news that a colleagues husband had died after suffering a heart attack.this unfortunately bought back all kinds of bad memories of when my step dad died, also from a heart attack,every time i think of her and feel bad for her i remember my own horrible experiance,empathy can be a really sucky thing. Current Mood: melancholy

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November 15th, 2006

09:01 am i just got woken by a pneaumatic drill drilling into metal across the road.and now i know what the most obnoxious sound in the universe is.:-( Current Mood: cranky

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November 14th, 2006

07:20 pm - being silly at work my, what a tedious week in work so far,managed to have some fun in the afternoon though building a money house (thank u stu for that idea). day off tomorrow thank goodness. tonight i'm having dinner with steve then getting drunk ,could get used to having weekdays off even if it does mean working saturday. Current Location: home Current Mood: silly

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November 1st, 2006

07:46 pm - ick i might be being coerced into going to the agincourt this saturday for a friends birthday. on the plus side its grahams birthday and hes a good friend... on the minus side the ag is the first club i ever went to ..about 10 years ago now .. and i dont think i want to be revisiting the times i spent there..oh and i HATE that club! ...but it is grahams birthday...ick..and meh.. dont think i'm going Current Location: at home Current Mood: guilty

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October 31st, 2006

05:31 pm - getting healthy i have finally got around to hauling my ass to the gym for some much needed exercise, its been at least a month since i've done that.so gym tomorrow and swimming pre work on friday hopefully.Paradoxically more exercise seems to mean more energy, oh and its amazing how much it clears the fuzz from my head Current Mood: energetic

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October 22nd, 2006

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